I've learned that in hard times, it does no good to ask "Why is this happening to me?". But sometimes I do find myself wondering why I made certain decisions. I wonder what I've learned or I'm supposed to have learned from an experience. I wonder how long it will take before thinking about it won't leave me so hollow or on the brink of tears. I wonder why it seems so difficult, when others, and even myself, have been through much more trying times. I wonder when that spring in my step will return. Or when I will wake up feeling energized and excited to take on a new day, instead of disappointed that I have to get out of bed. I wonder if when people ask how I'm doing how honest I should be.
Sometimes I just want to talk about all of these emotions and thoughts pent up inside me, yet I don't really want to reveal how weak I am. I wonder if I can put on a brave/tough front and fake it till I make it. What else is there to do?
So I don't ask "why?" but I sure do wonder...
I have felt this way so many times. Don't be afraid to show yourself though. You're too awesome.
ReplyDeleteI wonder about everything. It isn't bad to ask why, it's bad to dwell on knowing why. Sometimes why helps us find the answers. It isn't bad to share your thoughts either you know. You don't have to be fake to those who care most about you. We all go through difficult times, and even if we've been through worse, it doesn't mean it isn't still hard. Though, maybe that can give you more strength; knowing you've been through worse and so you know you'll make it through anything, and you can even do it with a real smile, real happiness. Does that make sense? I love you sis! I think you are amazing, and I know you don't make decisions without careful thought. You aren't the type to act impulsively, unless clothes/shoes shopping ;-) but I know you put careful thought and prayer into everything. Good Luck, and remember that tomorrow will always be better tomorrow ;-)
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